Tuesday, 28 June 2016

Boris's Post Brexit Utopia In Full


Yes. Well. Who’d have thought? Really.

Our great nation has spoken. And this is indeed a historic moment in its history. 

All the evils of being shackled by an unelected elite will now end. 

I've hated unelected elites since way back.
Everybody’s doorstepping me about what I plan to do. And quite right. That’s what we’re all wondering now. But whatever it is I plan to do will be better for our great nation, you can be sure of that. I’m a committed Europhile from way back. So that’s not going to change. Having defeated the shackles of the EU unelected elite we are free to do whatever we like, including staying in the EU with all its economic and cultural benefits. It’s a win/win situation. 
That bloke Junker, what is he like? Trying to tell us to fuck off and as fast as possible. Doesn’t he know how important we are? Doesn’t he know the EU needs us more that we need it? These people, really. He clearly did not have a contingency plan for this eventuality. 
Oh, that poster. Well, yes, I did approve it, yes. But what you have to understand is it was an election. Things get said. I’m not responsible for that.
What needs to happen now is we keep cool heads. There’s no point in all this argy bargy. Our great nation has spoken and now we must take our time about getting on with it. No sense in rushing. There’s a test match on for one thing.

I’d like to pay especial tribute to David Cameron. I may have given the impression somewhere along the line that I disagreed with him on this issue, but it now seems we were in perfect agreement all the time. We both love the United Kingdom, we both love the European Union, and we both want to be Prime Minister.

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