The Trans Duckling - A fairy story for Christmas

Once upon a time there was a duck who laid a clutch of eggs. And the eggs hatched and all the fluffy baby ducklings were beautiful ...except one.

The Ugly Duckling was too big, too awkward, too scrawny. He looked at his brothers and sisters and thought "I don't belong here, I am a misfit. I am in the wrong body." The other ducklings laughed at him and that made him feel worse. So, in his sorrow, he decided to take himself away and he lived in a shed at the other side of the pond.

The long winter passed and one day the Ugly Duckling awoke and went to the pond for a drink. When he looked into the surface of the pond he saw the most amazing thing... He was no longer a duckling, but a fully grown...duck.

"Oh shit," he said as his brother and sister ducks arrived. "Looks like I really am a duck."

"Oh for Fuck's Sake," said his brother duck, "not this again. Look, why don't you put on this swan costume and call yourself a swan, and we'll all call you a swan too." And he produced a swan costume magically from nowhere. (This is after all a fairy story)

"Wow, thanks guys!" Said the Ugly Duck as he slipped the elegant swan costume over his head. "Now you'll all have to call me 'Mr Swanny Pants'."

"No," sighed his brother through gritted teeth. "We'll still call you a wanker."

And the moral of the story, boys and girls, is it is far better to learn to accept yourself as you are than to put on a swan costume and be called a wanker.