Monday
Managed to take time out from my hectic schedule to view the marvellous new ITV series, The Crown. Fairly good performance from Dame Helen Mirren but Billy Connolly an odd choice as Disraeli. Had the producers approached me first I could have put them straight on some details having interviewed all the main characters in my younger career as a world famous television presenter. I bet they are kicking themselves now.
Tuesday
I am wearing several poppies this year, including a Stonewall endorsed rainbow poppy, to ensure I don't exclude any trans veterans from Remembrance Day celebrations. It's a well documented fact that trans soldiers were discriminated against in the trenches and forced to use men's latrines despite their lived experience. I have also petitioned the Forces Minister to make the new rainbow uniform standard issue for all recruits. Yet to receive an answer.
Wednesday
Twitter continues to be an echo chamber of deep seated bigotry and abuse. Why can't everyone be like @PISTaker who tweets: "You are an inspiration to us all, John. I don't know how people managed in Ochil and South Perthshire before you came along." It did make me blush, although I'm not sure what Ochil and South Perthshire has to do with it, but it is gratifying to see how much I inspire the youth of today.
Thursday
I am reliably informed that Ochil and South Perthshire is my constituency! Imagine my surprise! I don't get up there as often as I should but an MP's life is so hectic down here in London. There's the endless round of media appearances, and only last week I received an award from Pink News for being so wonderful.
Friday
Memo from the Whip's office to the effect that Ochil and South Perthshire is not, as I inadvertently misspoke in my Commons speech, in the Western Highlands, but somewhere north of Edinburgh. Can't think where I got the image of crofters and sheep, although it might have been on an episode of the marvellous show Cash in the Attic.
Saturday
The sinister LGB Alliance continue to persecute my reputation in court, despite (or perhaps because of) my stellar testimony which has received praise from several of my Twitter fanbase. Their lawyer was clearly overwhelmed by my stately presence and rapier wit. The silly girl has tried to have my testimony suppressed! I do miss the days when these young women stayed in the kitchen and left the serious jobs to us men. Nadine Dorries is a case in point.
