Tuesday, 27 March 2018

Murdo Fraser's Guide to Holiday Destinations

Yes, it's that time of year again.

Everyone keeps asking "Where should I book my holiday, Murdo? You're a world renowned expert on Just About Everything, so please help!"

Well, drawing on my vast travelling experience and general brilliance, here are my tips for this year's hottest holiday destinations:

1. North Korea
OK, I know what you're thinking. It's impossible to get a visa and Easyjet don't go there. But if you don't mind overcoming those minor hurdles you'll find the people are overwhelmingly friendly. See how happy they look! This snap was taken last year when my boss Ruth Davidson paid an unexpected visit and was treated like royalty.

2. Iraq
Since the enormously successful 2003 invasion Iraq has really opened up its tourist trade. It's no problem at all moving around the country, especially if you're affiliated to one of the burgeoning tour companies like Daesh.  Contact them online and they'll get you over there in no time.

3. Spain
Some people think Spain hasn't been as good since Franco died, but there are signs recently the government are getting a grip on things again. The locals could not be friendlier, especially since they are arrested for not smiling at tourists. Thanks to the exchange rate holidays here are dirt cheap, but I'd advise you leave that Free Catalonia tee shirt at home unless you fancy ten years in solitary confinement.

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